Hi readers... mom has finally managed to type the handwritter letter for ah mah and now it can be posted here. She wrote the letter to ah mah with the intention to tell her not to be angry and told her to take good care of her own health while undergoing the chemo treatment.
She also just wanted to inform ah gong & ah mah that they have managed to find me and ge ge terry a new babysitter..and tried to explain why they need to change now to avoid any misunderstandings.
To daddy's horror, their reaction was horrible. Both of them blared at him fiercely while he popped by their place (mentioned in the last posting) as if he and my mommy has done anything sinful. Ah mah even told daddy not to listen to mommy in everything. what a joke ! As if my mommy is the one who created the mess. It's really sad that people fail to realise it's their own daughter's fault and still insisting that she has done nothing. Anyone in the right mind will agree that it is her daughter and ah mah who is creating all this mess now and even ah gong is so blind to make daddy feel that as though it's all his and mommy's fault. My goodness ! to be frank, Ah gong always scolded my brother terry that he has no wisdom. I think this incident will truely show who is the one who has no wisdom. hohoho.
We don't understnad why their reaction is like that. It only shows that they still refuse to admit it's their daughter who started the fire and keep on thinking that my daddy & mommy are trouble-makers. They still feel that their daughter, our “xiao gu" has done nothing. (they keep emphasizing on this statement) They simply just defend her blindly eventhough she is rude and purposely tried to hurt my mom by not saying a single word of "hold on" when my mommy called ah mah to find out how was she feeling. It's basic courtesy to tell the caller to "hold On" when a person picks up a call right ?? But ah mah told my mom off that her daughter dont know its my mommy who is calling. How can it be ? Who else will call her "mother" ?? She only has one daughter-inlaw. My mum even addressed her daughter by her name "ah keow" and how can it be she dont know??? dont lie or defend her la ! Even if she doesnt know, she still need to have the courtesy to say "HOLD ON" or "1 second" or "pls wait" or watever. Don't tell me that a 31 year old woman has any basic telephone manners ? Obviously she knows it's my mum who is calling, and she is still bearing grudges with her, so she purposely don’t bother to even say “hold on”.. what kind of attitude is this ? u can either call it childish or sick ! up to you readers. Hahaha
They still do not understand that my mommy is not upset just because of this. What upset my mommy the most is because of ah mah defending her daughter blindly without a good reason straight on her face and never spare a thought for my mommy's feelings. My mommy was very hurt by ah mah's unfair behaviour.
She is not angry at all. Too bad they dont understand. Anyway, my daddy understands and we all know everything.
Whatever it is now... Sorry and Sad to say.....this parents don't treasure their only son and 2 grandchildren (En & Ze). What else can we do but to just leave them alone.
Mother, 不好意思，我又写信给你是因为我不懂要如何开口。
我只是想告诉你，你好好的养病，不要为任何的事情生气或伤心。 我真的只是要让你知道，上次我是非常难过和伤心而已。 我根本没有生你还是阿娇的气。 我只是觉得我在你们家里，只是一个很小的角色，我没有权力生你们的气。 不过没关系，只要你们不要误会我和丰义要惹事情就够了。 其实我们是希望一家人好好沟通，家合万事兴。
过去的，我们不再提了。 现在我知道可能你还在气头上，我也不想打电话给你，避免让你生气影响你的身体。 你好好照顾身体，希望你早日康复。等你冷静下来了，我们会来探望你，好不好？
我也借此机会通知你们， 我们已经找到新的保姆顾阿恩和泽泽了。 九月一日开始。 因为反正 Aunty Susan 也是有问过我有没有打算请女佣。 不过我们也了解 father 不太赞成请女佣，所以我们只好请个保姆照顾两个小孩。 以后你的化疗和电疗完了，身体完全恢复后，我们才打算好吗？
对不起我的字写得很难看。因为现在已经半夜一点多了，我也很累了。
以后你们想念孙子，随时都可以打电话来或来我们家。你们也随时欢迎来看他们。
非常感谢你和 father这几个月帮我们照顾泽泽和阿恩。 真的是非常没有办法，你生病了，身体比较重要。 所以我们就只好找别人照顾他们。反正 Aunty Susan 也只能顾到年尾十二月。 我也担心泽泽越大越会认人，如果等多几个月才换人顾，怕他更难适应， 希望你们能了解。我也很怕在这个时候换人顾孩子，可能会引起我们之间有多一个不必要的误会，使到我们的感情更糟就不好了。我也想你们只有丰义这个唯一的儿子，希望你们父子和母子的关系好。
OK了我要去睡了。我再说一次，我只是那时很难过和伤心你说的话。 我一点都不生气。 伤心，心痛，难过，被伤到自尊心 是不同的。希望我们的误会能够解开好吗？
谢谢你读这封信。 晚安。 金娇
26/8/2008
I guess my mum has her every right to share all these "sad" events in our blog. In fact daddy & mommy are both wondering when ah gong & ah mah will call to ask how are the 2 kids..at least?
It's not my mum's intention to let you readers know how bad my grandparents and her daugher are. She needs to release her stress and sadness by blogging about it because this is actually very important matters in our family. My dad also agrees that she has the right to blog about it as he knows she has no other intention at all. We are just feeling disappointed that why daddy, being the only son of my grandparents are being ignored totally now by his own parents. The reason why he doesnt want to initiate to call them up is because of the last time he was badly lectured by them when he went over to their home. He says the moment he think of how they blared at him and how nasty their faces looked, he just simply cannot believe why his parents were behaving in that manner !
As for my mom, why would she call since they have made her feel that she has no position to talk at all and of course she has the right to choose not to be hurt again. In fact, she cried over this matter a few times and she is getting quite numb about it already.... sigh. My daddy keeps telling her don’t have to be sad over this anymore as it is not worth her tears.
Father,本来我是打算保持沉默，可是看在你是我家翁，我才决定写这封信给你。
你是个有智慧，有分析和判断能力的人，相信您会明白我这封信的含意和目的。
请允许我写信来让您了解我必须让您知道我非常难过，因为我实在对你的太太，我的家婆非常失望。 对我来讲，你们的女儿永远是对的。我们死都要忍还是让。
对不起，我不知如何因该怎样和你们这种思想的一家人相处。我们的思想完全不同。 因为可能我在你们眼里是一个喜欢惹事情的坏息妇。我以经做了最坏的打算。我随时可以让你们全部都认为我是一个不孝的息妇。我无所谓的。因为人在做，天在看。上天知道我是怎样的人就足够了!
原本我想不如做个闲人，睁一只眼闭一只眼，像你们这样,什么都不谈也不管，就可以和睦共处。但是，上次你的孝顺宝贝女儿来责备我们，我们跟你们讲出来希望可以把误会说清楚我们也算了。可是，她并没有就此罢休，我只能说她这个人是没有度量，到现在还一直怀恨我，把我当仇人看待。 请原谅我提醒一下你和MOTHER 如果你们的宝贝女儿不来无原无故责备我们，那天我们会向你们题起这件事吗？不过请问你们到底清不清楚是谁开始惹出这些“小事情”的呢？即然你们叫我们算了，我们也不再提了。
可是，当你的女儿接我打给 MOTHER 的电话的时候，她为何要用这么恶劣的态度对我呢？(这件事情发生了两次，一次是拜6一次是拜2。她接到我打来找MOTHER 的电话她不叫我，我是无所谓的，不过我却有叫她的名字阿娇，帮我叫MOTHER 听电话。可是她连一句“等一下”也不愿意啃，这样对吗？最多我当她是没有基本礼貌的读书人。但是 最让我感到痛心的是， 当我问 MOTHER 为什么阿娇接我的电话也不应我， 我没想到MOTHER 尽然会回答我说因为你们的宝贝女儿不懂是我打来的！！！ 这很明显，不管怎样MOTHER 都是会袒护自己的女儿也不管娶进来的媳妇的感受的。 我原本想这个拜2或拜3晚上不要煮饭，在外面吃了来陪MOTHER 一下，但是我被她明显袒护女儿的那句话感到彻低的失望与心痛。请问你们如果你的女儿的家婆也这样明显袒护自己的女儿，你们会有什么感受呢？
我和丰义都不明白你们做父母的这样每一次都要你们的儿子和媳妇容忍这些无理娶闹的人，请问\这是什么道理？？难道每一件事情都是我们惹的吗？ 难道你们的24孝宝贝女儿一点都没有错是吗？ 如果您老人家的答案还是那句话“不要管”， 还是“算了”， 还是“忍”，非常抱歉， 这不是我本人的原则，态度及处事方式范围里能够作到的。
你们疼女儿决对没错，可是你们从来不用公平的方式来决绝问题的存在。请原谅我必须很坦白的发表我的感受。
即然你们在乎嫁出去的女儿多过我这个唯一的媳妇，我无话可说。那么以后我不上你家因该不是一个问题吧？？ 不过你们放心，我跟丰义讲了，他是你们的儿子,以后他带你们的两个孙子上你家就行了。 我想你们是不会在乎我有没有来的。
我是有想过在这个时候不应该说出心里的话，我也担心MOTHER 会因此受到刺激，可是请你们思考一下， 是谁先搞出这些事情的？ 是我还是丰义吗？ 我想你们可能还是觉得你们的女儿作得很对,所以你们是不可能会去劝她反省一下她自己对我们的态度的.
我和丰义都对你们的女儿24孝的性格赞不决口！ 因为我们承认我们是无法像她们好像在印钞票一样的。
该说的我都说完了。请别误会我要你们去责怪任何人. 很遗憾, 当了你们10 年的坏媳妇，我只能说你们跟本一点都不认识与了解我. 我今天只是想让你们真正了解我这个当媳妇内心的感受罢了。我也认为我有责任向你交代一声我以后不会上来你家的原因。因为我感觉我不在你们的眼里。由其是MOTHER 和你们的两个宝贝女儿.
我本来想让你们自己去想一想或自己猜测我不来的原因(因为反正你们不擅长沟通,而经常选择什么都不说)，可是我觉得跟你们坦白讲清楚 是我的责任也比较合理的。
不孝媳妇上
21.08.08
Note: my mummy purposely name herself "unfilial" as she knows that these people will eventually say that she is unfilial..and it doesnt matter to her at all. What matter most is what kind of person she is in God's eyes and in my daddy's eyes. Even ge ge Terry understands that whole situation. Mummy ask him to call ah ma he doesnt want to do so and he says it's unnecessary).
Labels: DADDY'S and MOMMY'S HEARTACHE STORIES