Its me dino blogging today. This blog was managed by my lovely wife in the past but today, I decide to write something here and not because i want to remind myself of the ill feelings and strainous relationship I have with my own family now or to show any unforgiveness or any grudges. It is just for me to pen all these down to express my heartfelt being of the whole matter.
In fact, I am rather immune to how I am being treated as less "competent" compared to the 2 precious daughters of my parents. I am not angry or bitter or frustrated anymore. I know that they are people of such so I have to accept the fact that they are like that. There is no more need to feel upset or affected anymore as nobody can change them unless they are saved by the power of the Holy Spirit. I just want to be a good husband to my wife and a good daddy to my kids, and most importantly, to take my calling seriously, in managing my business according to God's purpose.
On 17 Apr, Pst Kong was preaching & teaching about Forgiveness and my wife suggested to pay a visit to my parents after the service. We know deep in our hearts we have forgiven them even they do not speak fairly for us on all the past incidents, and even as parents, they did not make peace for their children to be loving and happy again. Instead, they told me & esther with their own mouth, that it's ok for us to just say HI to them if we ever meet face to face. Is this a normal family relationship ??
Anyway,we are doing our part by following one of the 10 commandments,i.e. to honour our parents. But just to obey the voice of the Holy Spirit, we went ahead to visit them after the service but co-incidently they were not at home. They have gone to JB with their youngest daughter. The one who messed up the relationship between me & my parents. So we went to pay a visit to the neighbour Aunty Susan.
So, fine, my wife called my dad to let him know we are there but realised they are not at home.
I do not understand why as parents, they fail to realise that, the fact that we appeared at their home on a sat evening is a sign of our first move to make peace with their 2 daughters who had been denying their own misdoings and did not treat us as part of the family anymore. Eventhough it was them who messed up the relationship,
we did not want to carry on hating them. We just wanted and hope that the visit on that sat evening will turn the family situation into something positive at least. But too bad, it could not be made happened that day. On Fri 23 Apr, my mom called esther to ask when we are going over, and asked whether we want to go over on Fri evening. But when esther told her that we intend to go on the next day, i.e. Sat, she was hesitating. She sounded like we are going there to create trouble. Obviously she is more concerned of her 2 daughters' happiness, maybe because she knows that they do not like to see us. So she just try to stop us from going on Sat evening but she does not have the courage to say it.
On sat afternoon on 24 Apr, as we are getting late for service and since it will be too rush if we eat at a shopping mall, Esther suggested that we go to my parents house downstair to buy food up to eat and visit them for a short while before we attend service. After Esther & the 2 boys had gone up to my parent's home, I went to park my car and after that, when I was walking towards my parents' block, I saw a champagne color Chrysler drove past me, and I noticed that was the husband of my parents' youngest daughter. He gave me that "who are you " look and drove away after that and I did not see them coming up to my parents house at all. Any human being in the right mind will understand that they want to avoid us. So what else can we do ?
The eldest daughter even ignored us when we once met her at Anchorpoint last year. She totally behaved as though we were strangers to her. Once when we visited my parents and she was there, she left immediately when she saw us.
God, I am not going to bother about all these as I know that I cant do anything to change this situation. Only you my Heavenly Father can make things possible if YOU want it to happen for the good of your child. God, I want to put my heart & soul into ISE that you have called me for this business. I need to focus and do well and bring Glory to your Mighty Glorious Name.
Esther & I are waiting for my father to initiate himself if he really wish to have a birthday celebrated by his son & his daughters together as a family if he still remember me who is his only son. God, you know that I am BROKE. I am waiting upon you for more C.O.D. orders and to increase my income from my Business to pay the list of outstanding bills. I do not have cash and have limited credit facilities to buy my dad a proper Birthday meal. He is somebody who expects a sumptous meal for his birthday every year. Last year, we ate with him without his 2 daughters and he told my youngest aunty that he is not happy to celebrate his birthday in this manner. But God, why are my parents not doing anything about their childrens' horrible relationship ? What else can I do but to just leave everything to YOU God.
I thank you I still have YOU who is my Heavenly Father, my Help in times of needs, my comforter and my fortress. I thank you for my wife Esther and my 2 boys Terry & Teagan. They are the reason for me to keep pressing on and moving on. But YOU are my only Strength and Purpose. I know you dislike it when I stop trying, or regret, or waste and be ungrateful for what You have been providing us. So Lord, I just want to tell you I am waiting upon You and I am believing & expecting from You a Great miracle that my storehouse couldnt contain but to share it as a blessings to others.
27 Apr 2010 12.40 am.
Thank you Lord.
BELIEVING IN MIRACLES
8:58 AM
